Of Shrubbery and Frocks
by MissHydraZen
Summary: "I am a Greengrass. We are not only pure of blood, but noble and poised. And I am quite the fail if I do say so myself." Astoria is attending the party of the year. It's a very sophisticated occassion. Too bad she's absolutely bonkers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**Disclaimer: don't own harry potter or its characters. I sort of own Cynthia but not her surname/family.**

**Ok so originally this was just me writing for funsies just waffling on and on and then I was like 'you know what? I'll just post it. It can be a one shot!...oh no wait its nearly 10 000 words...ok'**

**So if u get the feeling that is should kinda all be one chapter...well that's cause that's what I thought too.**

"No Way!"

"Cummon Tori, you know it's true."

My best friend, Cynthia and I lay on our backs gazing at the ceiling of my room, contemplating the great mysteries of the universe.

"Cynth," I rolled on to my side and gave her my very wisest of looks, "there is no way in hell that Snape could take on an army of house elves! It's just not logical."

She rolled her eyes and flipped over to face me, "Astoria, he was a WIZARD, a really powerful one and-"

"Merlin rest his soul" **(A/N: we miss ya buddy****)**

"Yes, yes...an-"

"A moment of silence, please."

"Tori you didn't even like him!"

"Cynthia!" How dare she! Just because I hadn't spent my Slytherin days kissing Severus Snape's ass like the majority of my house didn't mean that I hadn't had a level of respect for him.

...I just used the phrase 'Severus Snape's ass', didn't I? Great, now I have to burn my brain cells.

"Personal preferences aside we must honour our fallen." I said as solemnly as I could and pulled myself up into what I hoped was a dignified position. My eyes were shut in respect so I couldn't check.

Apparently it wasn't because Cynthia sniggered.

"Astoria Greengrass you are so-"

"Excuse me; I am having a minute of silence here."

"My bad."

"I forgive you, now hush."

We sat in silence for the next minute (though it was probably more like 56 seconds or something but I couldn't be expected to know with my eyes closed -not even if they were open - Daphne smashed my clock last week) and I opened my eyes and lay back down next to my friend.

"Now. Where were we?" I said with what I like to think was dignity.

"Well I was trying to explain my case, but you-"

"Yes, yes. Do continue with that."

"You like interrupting me don't you?"

"It does seem to be one of my strong points, but keep going."

"Right, well...yes Snape was all powerful and everything not to mention the fact that they're just house elves! They haven't even got wands!"

"But there's an _army_ of them! And they've got their own magic. Plus they've got really pointy fingers."

She scoffed. "What does that got to do with it?"

"Absolutely everything."

"Er...right..." Cynthia crinkled her eyebrows, almost with a sense of disbelief (though why I'll never know), then glanced at her watch. "Don't you have a party to get ready for or something?"

Party?

Party.

PARTY!

"CRAP!" I leapt up and ran over to my trashed clock (which I kept for sentimental reasons), shook it and then flung it across the room in frustration. I spun around to see Cynth standing up and dusting herself off clearing trying not to laugh.

"What time is it?" I asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

She checked her watch again "6:30"

The party from hell (no, no sorry, '_social gathering'_) was at seven!

I sighed exasperatedly. "Why didn't you tell me before!"

"Er...forgot?"

"Oh Merlin we are so screwed!"

"No, you are so screwed." She pointed a finger at me.

"Right."

She _was_ right though. Cynthia was what most people in the pure blood community (people like my mother and Pansy Parkinson) would call a hopeless case. She had short, bright orange dyed hair that spiked out in all directions, vividly green eyes and she only ever wore black and Weird Sisters merchandise. She also seemed to enjoy setting expensive things on fire.  
I thought she was brilliant but as previously stated, that wasn't a view shared by all, and by this stage everyone just expected her to turn up in her usual skinny jeans and t-shirt saying "If it's too loud you're too old", if at all.

Lucky, lucky girl.

I, on the other hand, am a Greengrass. We are not only pure of blood, but noble and poised. We are elegant and distinguished. We are honourable and respected.

And I am quite the fail if I do say so myself.

Not like Daphne, oh no. As I am constantly reminded - I am nothing like my big sister.  
She has long flowing chestnut hair. I have dark blonde waves that frizz up when it rains. (Which, sadly to say here in England, is rather often). Her eyes are 'soulful' and blue but I get stuck with plain old brown, (and as Blaise Zambini had once pointed out, they were 'a bit too big for my head'. This was before Cynthia punched him, of course.) She had 'chiselled, angelic features' (direct quote I swear) and a tall, graceful, perfect body. As for me, well let's just say one of my high school nicknames was shortass-Greengrass- that piece of literary genius was courtesy of Vincent Crabbe .

To cap it off, Daphne seemed to have the world wrapped around her perfectly manicured little finger; that girl could not put a foot wrong.

And she always knew what to wear to these stupid dinner parties.

"How about this one?" I held up a pink dress for Cynthia to evaluate.

"Tori, you're blonde." She said with a hint of sympathy. Was she trying to say something?

"Really? I hadn't noticed." I muttered, dryly.

"You can't wear pink; you'll look like a barbie doll!" I knew I should never have shown her that stupid muggle toy.

"You just hate pink!" My oh so witty comebacks had clearly never been better.

"Well so do you!" She replied.

"Yeah, but in case you hadn't noticed, I don't exactly own an abundance of dresses!" It was true. My closet mostly consists of t-shirts, track pants and a hat in the shape of a giant snake that made hissing noises when people talked too loudly (who says I don't have Slytherin pride?).

At that moment my mother decided it would be a good time to burst forth and scar me further. Into the room she swept in a swirl of sequins and beads...and feathers?...Merlin help me.

"Astoria! Why aren't you dressed yet? Mr Shacklebolt is already here and we're ready to take the portkey." Oh yes, by the way, we happen to live over a hill from the Minister for Magic, so I get to fall over walking down the stairs in front of him as well. Joy.

"Mother I don't have anything to wear" I started, and then I was hit with a stoke of pure genius. "Maybe I shouldn't go!"

"Don't be silly, Astoria. You'll just wear one of Daphne's gowns." My own mother paused to give me the once over, "Er...from when she was...much younger."

"But mother!"

"No buts - I'll go fetch it, you start on your hair. Honestly Astoria, you'd think you didn't want to go to the minister's party!" And with that she whirled from the room, leaving a trail of glitter behind her, which may I add, had an annoying habit of sticking to everything I own. When the door closed behind her, Cynthia (who Mother liked to pretend didn't exist) burst out laughing.

"You are like, the _definition_ of a misunderstood teenager!"

"Yes, yes laugh as my world ends."

"Bit dramatic there, Tori. I don't know why you hate these things so much. They're hilarious!"

Cynthia had always enjoyed watching the socialites of our world conversing as if they actually cared what the other had to say. I didn't.

"You know perfectly well why I hate them. They're just excuses for me to embarrass myself in front of the most annoying people on the planet-"

"And Draco."

"Yes thank you and Draco, while my poor deluded father keeps trying to get me to marry Gregory Goyle, for reasons unknown to man, and Daphne struts around with her stupid friend-"

"Who happens to be Draco's girlfriend." Cynthia wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"_Thank you_ Cynthia. Stupid Pansy stupid Parkinson with her stupid pretty pink lace and her stupid ugly face!"

"Oh, you've made a rhyme!"

"ARGH!"

"Calm down Tore, besides I doubt half of them got an invite to this thing, it's strictly VIP you know - I mean _I_ didn't even get invited!"

"Yes, I wonder why..."

"Well I'm sure it's just a simple misunderstanding, that's why I'm going anyway; to save them the embarrassment of realising what an important member of society they left out." She said , twirling her hair around her finger.

"You're right Cynth, I'm sure they were just about the send you your owl after they'd sent off Harry Potter's, but the kettle boiled and it slipped their minds."

"Kettles _can_ be rather distracting." She said knowingly.

"...I think that's just your kettle."

I would like to note the Cynthia's kettle is bright green and starts singing opera once it's boiled.

It was a birthday present.

I was about to fall back onto my bed when Mother bustled in again holding something that looked suspiciously like it had puffed sleeves.

"Mother, what in the name of Merlin's kettle is that?"

I was in a kettle mood.

"It's a dress Astoria, I do believe you've encountered them before. Now stop lounging around and come here! I need to fix you up."

That right there folks is an encouraging mother-daughter relationship.

I was dragged off my bed and over to my dressing table which clearly contained less hair supplies than my mother deemed reasonable. As she began to tug the comb through my hair she glanced over her shoulder at Cynthia who had chosen that moment to start to eat an earwax flavoured bertie botts bean and was trying to discreetly cough it up into a tissue.

With a look on her face that Narcissa Malfoy would have been proud of (we have a theory that they practice their sneers together), Mother went against her better judgement and spoke to her daughter's best friend.

"Cynthia, make yourself useful and go to fetch Daphne's hair care elixir."

"Er...which one Mrs G cause I'm sure there's, like, 50..."

"Don't give me that cheek young...er...lady, the pink one with the floral label."

Great, pink AND floral.

"Aye, aye captain!" And with a rather professional salute Cynthia marched off on her mission.

Mother muttered something that sounded like 'miscreant' and ripped a rather large knot from my poor, delicate scalp.

"Ow, Mother, that hurts."

"Well, I'm sorry Astoria but maybe if you'd started getting ready a little earlier like your sister, you wouldn't be in this situation."

Yes, yes. All hail Daphne the Great and all whom she resides over.

"Now hurry up and get changed."

"But Mother my hai-"

"Multitask, Astoria."

Right.

If you have never tried to wriggle into a lilac 'gown' with puffed sleeves and a frilly waistline while a magical socialite attacks your head and Daphne Greengrass screams in the background, I'll tell you now, it ain't easy.

Because no scene of discomfort is complete without her, my dear sister chose that moment to come bursting into my room in the very Mother-like fashion.

I need to get locks.

And a moat.

A moat would be nice.

I could keep turtles in it.

"ASTORIA!" I was brought back from my happy world of turtles and moats by the sharp pain in my ears that only Daphne can cause.

"Yes, dear one?"

"Don't give me that, what was _this_ doing in my room?"

She flung a disgruntled looking Cynthia into the room. Daph's stronger than she looks.

"Excuse me, Miss Priss," Cynth righted herself and glared at the older girl, "But your mummy dearest was the one who sent me into that den, so go complain to her."

And for the first time in living memory Daphne actually took someone else's advice. It should be documented.

"Mother!" She whined at a pitch that really should not be legal.

"Daphne, sweetheart, mummy's busy at the moment, as you can see I've got a lot of work to do in a very short space of time so why don't you go down stairs and wait with Daddy and Mr Shacklebolt."

Honestly, you'd think she was talking to a 5 year old.

That's really not fair.

On the 5 year olds.

Daffers huffed, stomped her foot and stormed out of the room probably to go bombard the poor minister with stories about her new lip gloss.

"Why can't you be more like your sister, Astoria?" Mother sighed for what felt like the millionth time as she finished with my hair.

Oh Merlin, there were pearls in it.

"Er...because I enjoy having a functioning intellect."

"Don't be so rude, now hold still." Her bright red nails dug into my cheeks as she secured my face long enough to pile copious amounts of make-up on to my face.

Dear lord, I looked like a sparkly clown!

"Now, Come ON." She gushed as she flew from the room, actually leaving a trail of feathers behind.

I wiped off the majority of the face-gunk as Cynthia and I followed her downstairs.

The going 'down-stairs' part wasn't exactly what one would call...successful.

I hooked one of my 3-inches-too-tall heels onto one of the steps and then proceeded to tumble all the way down to land in a heap at the bottom.

Pain in my elbows.

As a felt to make sure I still had all necessary body parts I noticed that my hair was still perfectly intact.

What did she put it in?

Cynth rushed down to help me up not even trying to cover up her laughter.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up at her. "We both know that if I couldn't survive falling down stairs, I'd have been dead a long time ago."

"That's the spirit, Tori."

My crash landing seemed to have alerted all the dignified people that we were ready to move because at the moment the Minister of Magic , (who was 'obliged'; here having the meaning of forced, to share a portkey with us) walked out into out foyer, followed my very frilly family.

"Are you girls alright in here? We thought we heard a crash."

"Yes we are, and yes you did." I smiled, trying and failing to smooth the crinkles out of my dress.

"Right, well we really should be going now." My mother checked her watch in that way which very important people check their watches.

"True that, Mrs G, we wouldn't want to miss the soiree." Cynth grinned while both my mother and sister paled.

"Excuse me, Cynthia" Mother whispered through gritted teeth, which I assume was supposed to be a smile, "but, '_we_' as in _you_?"

"Sure thing Mrs G, that is..." Cynth's beam slid from her face and she pulled the greatest sad face I had ever seen "unless you don't want me to come..."

Now normally Mother's response would have been something along the lines of 'of course I don't want you to come, you slimy little cretin! Now get out and never darken my doorway again!" But seeing as she was in the presence of the Minister for Magic, a man whom she liked to believe, held our family in the highest honour, even though he probably loathed the sight of us, things went more like this;

"Oh...well...I..."

"No, no!" Cynth whipped an imaginary tear from her eye and turned towards the door "I completely understand, go! Enjoy yourselves! I'll just head on home"

She took one heavy step away from us.

"To my little empty apartment."

On she trudged.

"All *sniff* alone."

She was at the door by then and wrenched it open dramatically. She gazed out into the night and then back to us like a lost puppy.

"Oh, look" She sighed "It's raining."

That was too much for the minister. Either he had a very big heart and was very gullible or he enjoyed the effect Cynthia's act was having on Daphne as much as I was, because he turned to Mother and said "I don't see why she can't come, Marissa."

YES! VICTORY!

With that Cynthia bounded back down the hall and stopped just in front of the minster shaking his hand vigorously.

"Golly gee, Thanks Minster!"

Ignoring my convulsions of silent laughter my mother pushed past me and placed a hand on the minister's arm. Eww, isn't there a 'no-touchy' rule or something? She was going to go get her feathers all over the poor man's robes.

"B-but Kingsley, dear she...er...she doesn't have an invitation!"

Ok, seriously _Kingsley_? _Dear_? Get off of him woman!

The Minister seemed to be thinking similar things because he plucked her talons off his robes, as politely as he could, and took the tiniest step away.

"Really? Well that is unfortunate..."

Wait, he didn't actually care did he? Minister! I thought I knew you!

"...We'll just have to make sure that she gets one for all the future get-togethers we have, won't we?"

AGAIN, VICTORY!

Mother looked like she could have fainted. She stumbled back and had to steady herself against Daphne who was frozen with horror.

"And as for tonight, I would like Miss Nott to be my special guest." The minister smiled down at Cynth, whose eyes lit up and held her hand up for a high-5, which he returned with all the expertise of a much younger man.

"Dude Sir! You rock!"

"Er... thank you."

"No, thank _you_" She spun around and gave me a thumbs up, while Daphne who had had to start fanning mother, glared daggers at us both. 'Tis a fun life we lead.

My father, a quiet, balding man who was terrified of his wife (rightly so) and who had been watching the whole scene unfold with a bemused expression, glanced down at his watch.

"Well, now that everything's all sorted out, I think it's time we get going?" Then, as an afterthought to his strange boldness, added "That is...it is getting rather late..."

"Right you are, Wilbur" The minister grinned, patting Father on the back and causing him to quake slightly. "Shall we-?"

At the Minister's indication we all reached for the gaudy pink and gold vase that was our portkey and vanished from the scene.

Review?

I'll love you forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: allo my duckies.**

**Thanks for the reviews and the love.**

**Brings me joy.**

**Plz keep it up lol**

**(oh and just so u know, a clabbert is real *harry potter* animal. google it)**

* * *

Now, I had used portkeys a thousand times and would go on to use them a thousand more. You would think someone in my position would be able hold on until the opportune moment and then softly float to the ground.

You would be wrong.

After a few seconds of the discomfort behind my naval that only portkeys and Daphne's cooking can bring me, my hand began to slip. I tried to get a better grip on the vase but the cold china slid from beneath my fingers and felt myself being flung off in some unknown direction.

My panicked, frenzied screams were lost as I felt the air gush past me. If I could go back now and insert some coherent thoughts into my brain such as 'goodbye, cruel albeit beautiful world, tell my mother that I love her and to not bury me next to my uncle Nicholas, he was horrid" I would have done.

As it was however, it went something more like this:

"CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAAAAAAAAP!"

Suddenly it all stopped; the noise, the wind, the sense of falling. I hit something hard and rather prickly with an almighty thud that knocked the breath out of me so the screaming stopped too.

I lay there with my eyes closed, trying to take shallow breaths and wondering what kind of strange world I had ended up in.

"Whoa, look over there!"

Ahhh, I hear voices. Perhaps a lost city...

"Crap! Do we know her?"

Or a far off desert...?

"Yeah, its Daphne's little sister!"

Well wherever I am they know Daphne. I won't be staying long.

"Er...is she dead?"

Dead? Me? Am I dead? Holy Crap!

My eyelids flew open to check (I know the logic is flawed but odds were, I had a concussion so you'll have to forgive me) and indentified my surroundings as a rosebush.

...Fancy.

I groaned as the feeling in my head started to change from numbness to a dull aching pain.

"Ow..."

I tried to focus my eyesight and saw two figures kneeling beside me and my bush.

"She lives!"

I live? Hoorah!

"Um... Are you alright?"

I just fell out of the freakin' sky Sherlock, what do you think?

"Meh?"

"Uh...Draco, maybe we should go get someone..."

Draco?

That's a funny name...

Hey! I know a Draco!

...Oh no.

I sat bolt upright in some desperate attempt to salvage my dignity. I realised this probably wasn't the best idea when it caused all the blood to rush to my head and I started to fall backwards again, but a hand on my back propped me up.

I blinked back the darkness that clouded my vision and gazed into the confused/worried faces of my would-be rescuers.

Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zambini.

Found me in a bush.

With pearls in my hair.

...couldn't the fall have just killed me?

"Er...Hello."

That's right Tori; cool, calm and collected. Humiliation is just a frame of mind.

"You just fell out of the sky!" Blaise blinked, staring at me with a face that read 'what is wrong with this chick?'

"Yes, I believe I did."

"Um, why?"

"Dunno, I guess I'm just into extreme sports." **(A/N: though i realise it sounds like it this WAS NOT meant to be a twilight reference)**

I'm rather witty, I am.

I heard a snort to my right, and turned around to see Draco smirking a smirk that clearly questioned my sanity. I quickly checked to make sure my dress wasn't up around my knickers and was greatly relieved to find in entangled with my ankles where I belonged. Right, well that's one less thing to worry about.

"Hey, it's Astoria, isn't it?"

He knows my name! Let the trumpets sound!

"Uh yeah...Tori."

"Right, I'm Draco, this is Blaise. Do you remember us? I think we used to hang out when we were little-"

Yes, and I've sent you anonymous singing Valentine's Day cards ever since, but you really don't need to know that now, do you mate?

"-we're friends of your sister."

"Yeah, I remember."

"Speaking of Daphne, by the way, is she here?" Blaise piped in, earning him a disgusted look from his friend, "What? I was just wondering..."

That's right; I have a near death experience and this tosser is trying to hook up with my sister.

Ah well that's the way the cookie crumbles.

"Um, not to be daft, but as you cleverly noted I did just fall from the sky...where is _here_?" I glanced around, seeing only grass, flowers and the wall against which my bush was growing.

Draco was saved from answering by a deafening screech that sounded a lot like my name. We all looked in the direction of the scream and saw my family, the minister and Cynthia jogging towards us. Well, Mother and Daphne weren't really jogging, more flouncing at a fast pace.

"Astoria! Oh my God! What happened to you?" my mother cried, wrenching me to my feet (not wanting to kneel in the dirt, I guess) and clutched my to her scratchy, sequined chest. When she finally released me it was only to be grabbed by my father then Cynth.

"Merlin, Astoria! You had us worried!"

"Tore! That was epic! And you're alive! That's even better!"

"Er...thank you?"

After the hugging, the Minister clasped my arm in a rather uncle-like way and expressed his relief that I was not spattered on the sidewalk of some distant country. I thanked him for these kind words and turned to Daphne, expecting the very least a pat on the head. What I got was the death stare to end all death stares and an accusatory "What is _wrong_ with you?"

Oh _nice_, sis.

"Daphne!"

"Come on Father, I know ten year olds who can hold onto a portkey!"

"Daphne, that's enough, go on inside and find Pansy."

Pansy is here? What fresh hell is this?

"Um...guys, seriously, where am I?"

I hadn't really aimed the question at her but it was my dear old sister who rolled her eyes at my stupidity, "We're at the party, you moron, if you'd had held on for another, like, two seconds everything would have been fine!"

"Daphne, I thought I told you to go inside."

You tell her Daddyo!

As I marvelled at my incredible aim, Daphne 'humphed' but didn't move, as she had just noticed the rather awkward looking Draco and Blaise who were trying to discreetly edge away from our odd family dynamics.

My mother had seemingly spotted them too.

"Oh, Draco! Blaise! You saved her!"

"Oh, um...not really, we just kinda saw her fall into the bush."

...

"For someone who can't even walk downstairs, Tori, you have some pretty kick ass aim!" Cynthia laughed and punched me in the arm in what I assumed was meant to be a friendly way.

The awkward silence that followed that statement was one the likes of which I had never seen before. Mother and Father exchanged winces, the poor old Minister became very interested in the dirt under his fingernail, Daphne snickered quietly, Blaise snicked because Daphne snickered, Draco raised his eyebrows at me, it was all _I _could do not bury my face in my hands and apparate to Siberia and Cynthia didn't seem to get what was wrong.

"What?"

Daphne snickered her last and tossed her chocolaty brown hair over shoulder, "Come on guys, let's go find the others." And off she pranced, Blaise trotting meekly after her with not so much as a look back at me. Draco, however lingered a moment.

"Uh, you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, thanks for...yeah..."

Smooth Greengrass, smooth

"Right."

I watched as he strolled off across the perfectly kempt lawn of Ministry Grand Ballroom (seriously, that's what it's called), mentally bashing my face against my palm.

"Right well, shall we?" the minister said, gesturing after the Daphne Posse. My parents made general sounds of agreement and we started to make our way around the side of the building into the crowd that surrounded the main entrance. As Cynthia and I fell back behind the adults she whispered excitedly in my ear.

"That went well, I thought!"

"Well? None of this can be classified as anything remotely resembling 'well'! This whole situation watched as 'well' rode off into the sunset, leaving me upside down in a bush only to be found by the guy I've liked since I was seven!'Well' has forsaken me!"

"Did he see your knickers?"

"Thankfully no."

"Then I say it went well; you didn't die, you actually carried out some shreds of a conversation with Draco and Daphne all but got told to bugger off! Now all you have to do is survive the next few hours and you home free."

Hmm, the girl makes a fine point.

"So, this was a good thing?"

"Very nearly."

"Victory to the republic!"

"Do keep it down deary, McGonagall just gave you a rather strange look."

I turned around to see that the headmistress of Hogwarts was indeed looking at me rather questioningly. In no mood to discuss why there were leaves amongst the pearls in my hair with Minerva McGonagall, I dragged Cynthia after my parents through the crowd of sparkly people filing into the hall.

Right about now would be when I gave a beautiful description of the inside of the hall and the stunning decorations and people therein. However I must report that seeing as I had been to more of these things than I'd like to admit to, I didn't really take much notice of it all, in fact my main objective was to find a nice quiet little nook (preferably by the food) in which to hide until it was all over. When you take into account that I had recently had my pitifully short life flash before my eyes, being afraid of a party might seem a bit overdramatic so let me provide some perspective. Some of my achievements past at these things included spilling a bowl of jelly on Lucius Malfoy (his face would have been priceless had I not been running for the high hills), spending the best part of an hour dancing with Greg Goyle, tripping over a house elf, tripping over a dog, tripping over a house elf carrying a dog and knocking over Pansy Parkinson (yeah...she doesn't like me much) and the grand prize goes to setting the curtains on fire while trying remove a stain that _I _caused by spilling my pumpkin juice on it.

Not what one would call a triumph.

I was just about to put my hiding plan to Cynthia when she grabbed my arm and pointed over a table full of the Hogwarts teaching staff, just as Professor McGonagall was taking her seat.

"Hey! Look!"

"Yes Cynth, we _do_ know them, they taught us for seven years..."

"No, I mean Hagrid's here! Dude, last time he had giant cockroach eggs in his pockets!"

"Um, good for him?"

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go see if he'll sell us some!"

Yes, Mother would lurve that.

"You go, I'm just gonna find a shadowy corner and some chocolate frogs and wait it out."

"Astor-"

"Don't worry about me; just go get your illegal pets. I'll be fine."

She graced me with one of her few serious looks of concern, "you sure?"

"Positive." I grinned, "You know I'm not really a cockroach type of gal."

"Alright then...I'll see you later." And she jogged over to the teachers table, waving an enthusiastic hand.

Once I saw that Cynth was fully engaged in a very animated conversation, I began my way over to one of the many tables laden with food and drink, to gather supplies for my hibernation. I had to change route when I saw Daphne talking to Pansy and her other glittering friends. As always, my effort at being discreet ended up with me turning around and walking straight into someone and falling down on my butt.

Once again; Ow.

The someone turned around and upon seeing me on the ground offered me a hand and said "Oh, sorry about that, are you ok?"

I gazed up praying that it wasn't someone I knew.

It wasn't.

It was worse.

Staring down at me were Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger who was still extending her hand.

Why me? What did _I_ ever do? All I ever wanted was to live in quiet, unnoticed peace!

I took her hand seeing as she'd been holding it out to me for at least a minute by then and once vertical again, bowed my head in shame.

"No no, it was my fault, I should look where I'm going, I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't worry about it, no harm done." Said Harry. As in Potter. As in Harry freakin' Potter! "I'm Harry Potter, this is Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."

"I know."

Oh dear, that came across a bit stalkerish, but at least they laughed.

"Yeah, I guess we're pretty popular." Ron grinned causing Hermione to elbow him, "What?"

"Do get over yourself."

"Please, baby, I'm a celebrity!"

"Oh Merlin..."

I laughed drawing their attention back to me.

"So, sorry, have we met before?" Hermione asked kindly.

"Not really, I mean we were at Hogwarts together but I'm like two years younger than you" -plus I was in Slytherin- "I'm Astoria Greengrass."

They exchanged surprised glances.

I mentally kicked myself in the head (I'm quite flexible in my mind). Why didn't I just make up surname?

"Oh, are you Daphne Greengrass's little sister?"

Sadly.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, we know her..."

"Sorry about that..."

They all looked taken aback.

"Sorry," I hastened "Do you..._not_ hate her?"

"Well hate is a strong word..."

"Yeah, we hate her."

"Ronald!"

"What?"

"No, no it's ok," I said, holding up my hands, "lots of people do...I'm kinda one of them."

Ron grinned at me, "I didn't think you were one of them." He said, nodding to my sister's group who had just let at a rather annoying and amazingly simultaneous peel of laughter.

I'd heard that evaluation of myself plenty of times before. Only this was the first time it was meant as a compliment.

"Yeah, I'm kinda meant to be, I'm just not very good at it." I shrugged, earning me another round of smiles.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Harry winced as another giggle fit erupted, "I don't think they're really going places."

Finally! Someone (besides Cynthia) sees the truth of it!

"Tell me about it." I muttered.

"So, Astoria," Hermione began, "You must have just finished Hogwarts, right?"

"That's right."

"Do you know what you want to do? Like career-wise?"

Every other time I told someone my ambitions they just looked at me like I'd suggested that we all go skinny dipping with the giant squid.

But then again I wasn't talking to the usual suspects this time...

"Well my mother kind of expects me to just do the whole socialite thing; you know lie around all day wearing feathers and attending the occasional gala such as this, everyday getting more and more batty," (Harry and Ron snorted) "But I dunno, I kinda thought it might be cool to be an auror"

Hold for laughter.

"Hey, that's great!"

Hmmm?

"It is?"

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?"

"Well I know it's great for most people, but don't you think it's a bit...ironic for me?"

"Well no offence kid, but we don't really know you that well."

Ahh, I see they need it put in perspective.

"Ok sorry, well my parents weren't Death Eaters as such but let's just say my Mother...sympathised. I grew up with some of the most wanted bad guys as foster parents and my best friend is the daughter of a convicted Death Eater."

And I'm in love with Draco Malfoy.

But he's reformed now so I guess that doesn't count.

"Ahh..." My audience of famous people were looking at me with expressions that ranged from wariness to pity.

Why did you tell them that, you moron? They were actually starting to like you!

I sighed a small "Well I guess I'll be seeing you..." and started to turn around when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"So, we're aurors" Harry smiled, gesturing to himself and Ron, "Would you be interested in doing some work experience? I bet we could get you in."

Wait...what? Seriously?

"Only if you want, that is."

My brain started to do a victory march but I managed to control it enough to squeak, "Yes please."

"Cool, well I'll ask and send you an owl."

O to the M to the G!

"Thank you, so much!"

"Don't worry about it-" He was interrupted by a loud greeting coming from the staff table. We look over to see Hagrid waving vigorously. Cynthia was nowhere in sight, "Well, that's our cue; I guess we'll see you around."

"Yeah, definitely."

"It was lovely meeting you, Astoria." Hermione smiled as Ron draped his arm around her shoulders and they walked off in the direction of the gamekeeper.

"Yeah, bye kiddo." Ron called over his shoulder.

I managed my little "You too, bye!" before they were enveloped in the crowd.

I staggered over to a corner hidden by a pot plant and sank down, my head reeling.

Did that actually just happen?

No way, it was way too awesome.

And successful...I've never had such a coherent conversation with strangers before in my life!

I had to find Cynthia!

I stood up and walked straight into Narcissa Malfoy.

I must have a depth perception problem.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Mrs Malfoy!"

"Astoria Greengrass? Is that you? My it's been a while hasn't it?"

It had been about a month.

"Yes Mrs Malfoy."

"Are you alright dear?" She was looking at me rather sceptically, "Draco told me you had a bit of an accident earlier."

He did?

Aww that means everyone knows!

"Er...yes, but it all turned out alright."

"I should think you have leaned from the experience?"

Oh shut up woman.

"Yes, Mrs Malfoy."

"Good, it's not very becoming to fall from the sky, you know."

Yes, yes, let's ignore the fact that I could have died; we must focus on the fact that I wasn't being ladylike.

"Yes Mrs Malfoy...you're quite right."

She nodded briskly and strolled off with her head held high.

When she was gone I heard a great cackle from behind me. I spun around, only to see Cynthia emerging from behind the pot plant, doubled over with laughter.

"Whoa! How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to discover how _unbecoming it is to fall from the sky_! Does that woman even hear herself when she speaks or is just a chorus of 'I'm so rich, oh so rich'?"

"Yes, very funny, but you'll never guess what happened to me!"

"Can its forehead glow?"

"Er...no..."

"Then what happened to me is better!"

Oh dear.

"Check this out!" and out of her pocket she whipped a small creature that looked like a cross between a frog and a monkey, "My very own clabbert!"

"Ah."

"I shall call him Arthur."

"That's lovely Cynth, but-"

"Hold him."

"Er...what?"

"Hold Arthur, show him the lurve."

"Lurve is a powerful emotion Cynthia, we just met..."

"Hold the clabbert, woman!"

"Alright, alright." I took the little creature in my hands and he grinned up at me, displaying his rows of razor sharp teeth.

"Hello there Arthur, how do you do?"

Arthur responded by sinking aforementioned teeth into my finger.

"Ahhh!"

"Bad Arthur! Don't bite Tori!"

But Arthur's days (or minutes as it was) of servitude were over. With one last nibble he made an almighty leap to freedom and hopped away under the sea of robes.

"Arthur!" Cynth cried in anguish, "We have to find him! He'll be smooshed!"

"He bit me!"

"I used to bite you, Astoria; you didn't give up on me!"

Well that was true.

"Oh fine."

We proceeded to get down on our hands and knees to search for our lost brother. After five minutes of being wacked with purses and stepped on by heels I decided it was time for a new course of action.

"We've gotta spilt up. You got that way, I'll go this way!"

"Ok, good luck!"

I crawled off in my chosen direction, but I hadn't gotten far when I came the feet of the beast herself. Standing above me, her pug-like face twisted with superiority, was Pansy Parkinson.

Merlin and his legions of hats help me now!

"Astoria? What the hell are you doing on the floor, you little cretin?"

Cretin? I would never call anyone a cretin!

"Er...I dropped my...shoe?"

Good grief woman, couldn't you have picked something that wasn't already on the floor?

The girls all laughed, none more cruelly than Pansy and my sister.

"Get up, would you? Merlin, Astoria, you're such an embarrassment!"

Says the girl who once talked to the Minister for twenty minutes about why her hair was so shiny.

Nevertheless, I picked myself off the floor, my pearls finally coming loose and swinging haphazardly about my person.

"You know, _Tori_, Dray told us the funniest story about you."

Dray?

Seriously?

I might have to kill her.

"Then Daphne filled in the details for us. Can you really not even hold on to a portkey?"

Yes, I will definitely have to kill her.

"Though you did give us all a good laugh. You really are quite the little ugly duckling, aren't you?"

I could feel my face burning and my eyes prickling.

Don't you dare! Astoria Greengrass, if you cry I swear, I will kill you personally. And suicide doesn't look good on the paperwork.

...

Say something, anything!

"Well at least I don't look like the wrong end of a dog, you horrible little minx!"

Anything but that!

Her gang's mouths collectively fell open and Pansy's eyes looked like they were about to fall out of her head. She recovered quickly, her shock turning to fury in an instant.

"What did you just say to me?" he voice was dangerously low.

Normally when people stand up to their oppressors for the first time they are filled with a sense of power. I was filled with a sense of 'oh crap! Death is coming! Run you fool, run!'

For once, I obeyed my brain and before Pansy could make a lunge for me and was off and running, praying that the crowd would hide me. I had been ducking and dodging for a few minutes before I was sure that they weren't following me.

As luck would have it, just as I stopped to catch my breath, I caught a glimpse of what looked like Arthur's legs disappearing behind the curtain I knew lead out onto the balcony. Knowing it was now or never, I got a running start and dived under the curtain, making a grab for the arboreal villain.

SUCCESS! I felt my hands close around the smooth, slippery surface that was Arthur the Clabbert.

"I've got you now, you slimy bastard!"

"Er..."

Oh no.

I looked up and to my absolute horror saw Draco staring down at me with a face that clearly read 'what kind of illicit substance is this girl on?'

...and the best night ever rolls on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Last part **

**Thanks for all the love/ reviews/ support/ requests for mythical pets :)**

**I may do more tales from the chronicles of Tori but not for a while cause i've got another fic that I'm meant to be writing (right now) in which i'm already up to chapter 11 and i still don't know what the plot is! It's eating me whole!**

**But anyway you don't care (fair enough, i wouldn't) so i'll bid you all a fond farewell for now (except those of you who I actually know...see you in hell my lovelies) and leave you with these words of wisdom:**

'**When in doubt or when all else has failed slap someone. Gently enough so that you don't injure them but hard enough that they know you mean business.'**

**PEACE OUT!**

* * *

"Oh, um...hi..."

"Hi..."

I hastily got to my feet, doing my best to smooth down my dress and not be bitten by Arthur again.

"Er...I didn't mean...that is to say...this is Arthur!" At a loss for anything else to do, I held him up under Draco's nose. This probably wasn't the smartest thing to do as he then commenced with trying to rip said nose off.

"Ow!"

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! He's not mine!"

"What are you then, his babysitter!"

"More like, crazy old aunt!"

Draco was holding his nose and backing away from me and the twitching creature I was holding. In one of my more intelligent moves, I ripped the sash from around my waist and wrapped it around Arthur so many times that by the end of it he resembled a rather dodgy Christmas present. I placed him carefully on the ground, not wanting to cause bodily harm to anything else and started towards Draco.

"Crap! You're bleeding!"

"Of course I'm bleeding! Your deranged toad thing just bit me!"

"I told you, he's not mine! And he's a clabbert not a toad!"

"I don't care what he is, he probably has rabies!"

I wanted to reassure him but we couldn't rule anything out.

"Just come here and let me fix it!"

"Not likely! I'll do it myself!"

"No, let me! Just cause I'm the de facto aunt of a toad/monkey thingy doesn't mean I can't do magic!"

He gave me a strange look, "I thought you said he was a clabbert."

...

"I thought you said you didn't care."

"...Touché."

"So will you let me do it?"

"Fine but hurry up, I'm losing blood here!"

"Alright, alright, hold still." I pulled my wand out my bag and raised to his nose, which after some convincing he uncovered.

"_Episkey!_"

The cuts began to heal at once and after I few seconds there wasn't even a scar in their place.

Well thank Merlin for that, with my luck I could have blown his head off.

Note to Self: Never tell him that.

Draco reached up tentatively felt the tip of his noise. Finding it in one piece again, he grinned at me.

"Well-'

"Wait a sec, you look like you had a really bad nose bleed. _Tergeo!_" And the blood vanished before it had a chance to dry. I was on a roll! "There you go."

"Thanks I guess"

"Well it was kinda my fault in the first place. Scratch that, it was definitely my fault. Sorry, I'm pretty sure he's not rabid, he bit me like half an hour ago and I'm still going strong."

He shrugged and averted his attention out to the garden, as I suspected he had been doing before any accusations involving slimy bastards, were made.

Well the ice is sufficiently broken (though probably not in the most dignified of ways), speak, fool!

"So uh...what are you doing out here?"

He looked surprised that I was still standing there. Sorry buster; did you think I had something better to do?

"Nothing."

"Really cause uh...Pansy's-" the evil one "-inside..."

Much to my astonishment (and delight) he suddenly looked rather terrified.

"What! Did you talk to her? Is she looking for me?"

"Uh no actually...I'm pretty sure she's looking for me..."

It's ok, I have Arthur to defend me.

"Really? Why?"

"Oh um...I _may_ have..._possibly_...said she looked like a dog's ass...only slightly..."

I waited for the tirade of 'how dare you insult my beloved one, you shrimpy fiend! I shall feed you to the wolves!" but it didn't come. Instead he just threw his head back and laughed.

To say I was shocked would have been the understatement of the millennium. As lovely as I thought Draco was and all that jazz I have to admit that I had hardly ever heard him laugh (the occasional snicker notwithstanding), especially in the past few years.

"Um...what?"

"She-is-going-to-LOSE-IT!"

Oh dear.

"She kinda already did."

"How are you still alive?"

"Very quick getaway skills."

"Well, it was nice, and slightly painful, knowing you."

Yay! Wait...what?

"So, you don't think she would have calmed down by now, then?"

He shook his head at my foolishness, "Calmed down? Pansy? Please, it takes her about fifteen minutes for her to work herself into a full on fit and then, considering you survive, that lasts about ten minutes then she sulks for a week."

"Oh Merlin's baggy trousers, I'm rather screwed, eh?"

"I'd say so."

"Bugger."

"Hey, I'm trying to hide too here, if you lure her to us with your 'scent of the condemned', I will not be pleased."

Ignoring the fact that I think he just said I smelt, I pressed on, "Why are you hiding from her?"

"Oh...I'm... not..."

"..."

"Alright then, if you must know, she asked me to dance and I told her I had to go to the bathroom. That was about half an hour ago."

"I see."

"I mean it's not that I don't...I do...well kinda..." he began defensively, "...it's just that being with her for too long is like..."

"Inhaling sugar?"

"That's the one."

We lapsed into silence again. Well I was silent on the outside; my brain was singing P!nk victory songs. I really do need to stop listening to the muggle radio station; Mother is bound to catch me one day.

I was enjoying basking in the glow of the fact that Draco was hiding from Pansy, when I heard the angry screech I would know anywhere.

The Megabitch draws nigh!

"She's coming!"

"What?"

"Hide, man, hide!"

And with that I jumped off the balcony (ground floor by the way; I'm not that suicidal) and into the shrubbery below.

Ow, my knees.

"Astoria!" Draco hissed from above me, "Are you mad?"

"Either come down here or shut up! She approaches!"

Did I just tell Draco Malfoy to shut up?

My, I'm bold today.

Draco didn't get the chance to decide which of these options to choose however because at that moment I heard an angry huff and a disturbance of drapery from above.

"Draco, darling! Where have you been?"

"Uh, hey Pansy...around..."

"Right well, I don't suppose you've seen Daphne's little rat of a sister around here anywhere?"

"Sorry, haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about."

Yes!

"Merlin! Fine then. Have-you-seen-Astoria-Greengrass?"

What a rude little girl. She must be burned at the stake.

"Oh why didn't you say so, petal? Nope haven't seen her spotty mug in a while. Why do you ask?"

Excuse me? I have a lovely complexion, thank you!

"She was so mean to me Dray-Dray! You wouldn't believe it!"

I may vomit.

"I dunno; I'd probably believe it..."

"What?"

"Er...she must be so...jealous of you? Yes, that's it!"

Nice save.

"Well of course she is, but I don't see why she can't express it by showering me with gifts like all the other girls do!"

Yes, I will definitely vomit.

"What about Granger? You said she was jealous of you and she tipped a glass of pumpkin juice on your head."

And I have my new role model.

"Well...Granger's a...I thought we agreed never to speak of that again."

"Sorry, thought it was relevant."

"Well it's not; they're two completely different types of loser! Now come on, stop sulking and help me find her!"

"For your information dearest, I don't sulk, I mope; it's far more manly."

"Whatever, are you coming or not?"

No he is not; be gone wench.

"Why? You have proven time and time again that you are perfectly capable of damaging people without my help."

"But it would be fun! We could do it together, like old times!"

...Most couples go to dinner. These two made little girls cry.

"Pansy, I really don't think-"

"Please please please please please please please please please?"

Oh shut _up_ woman!

"Alright fine! I'll be in in a minute!"

"Yay!" And I heard the sounds of her heels clacking on the floor as she skipped off to do evil.

When all Pansy-related sounds had died away, I balanced myself as best I could on the hedge and peeked over the edge of the balcony.

"She gone?"

"I knew you'd lead her here; you're bad luck."

"I take issue with that."

"Whatever, I gotta go."

"Hey! Help me up!"

A voice from behind the curtain called out sharply, "Draco!"

"Sorry no time, good luck Greengrass."

And with that he was gone, leaving me half perched on a very wobbly hedge and half clinging to the balcony wall.

I didn't care if he had lovely hair; I was going to kill him!

After much scrambling, I managed to throw myself rather violently over the wall, landing with a hard thump on the cold marble floor. The bruises I would have tomorrow morning, what with all this falling, would be something to behold.

After once again grabbing the ball of ribbon that encased Arthur, I snuck back into the hall, trying not to disturb the curtains too much. I looked around for Pansy and saw her crying animatedly into the shoulder of Draco who was awkwardly patting her on the head. Crouching down behind a rather tall man with a flourishing beard, I made my way along the opposite wall in search of Cynthia so I could give her her bloody clabbert and go back to my hedge.

For once luck seemed to be on my side as I saw the fiery red hair of the girl just up yonder, singing along quite tunelessly to the song the band was playing.

Odds were, Pansy would be looking for me where Cynthia was so I put Arthur in my bag and commenced with crawling under her table.

"Psst! Cynth!"

"'Ello there Tori! Fancy meeting you here!"

"Good grief, are you drunk?"

"No but I have had quite a bit of sugar, what's up?"

"I have your bloody clabbert!" I said, thrusting the purple ball up from my hiding place, "Why aren't you still looking for him?"

"Arthur! I must have sensed you had him!"

"_Right._"

"Well thanks for that, lovey bunch, I'm sure he's calmed down now...what did you do to him?"

"Nothing! I had to restrain him! He bit Draco on the nose!"

"Ahh you talked to Draco again, well done."

Selective hearing, much?

"Yes, yes it was very cheerful except for the part where he was bleeding and I was in a hedge."

"You are being one with the shrubbery, of late, eh?"

...

"It hasn't really been intentional."

"You know dear, I heard a rather interesting story about you from Pansy and her minions."

"Really?"

"I've never been so proud!"

Yes, let word of my achievements spread far and wide.

"Though it must be noted that I _am_ currently hiding under a table."

"Ahh well baby steps, so what's the plan now?"

"I was thinking back to the hedge."

"It's a bit nippy outside."

I was about to reply with some version of 'suck it up, my life depends on it!' when we heard a tinkling coming from the Minister's table at the end of the hall. A balding, redheaded man was whacking his goblet with a spoon in order to get the attention of the general masses. Next to him Mr Shacklebolt was standing up, ready to make a speech; I could tell because, from this odd angle I could see his flash cards.

I guess everyone needs a little help.

Once the hall had settled, he girded his loins and began.

"Distinguished guests, colleagues, friends. We are gathered here, on this, the anniversary of The Battle of Hogwarts; our great victory over the dark forces, to celebrate those accomplishments and this bright new era."- This seemed to be a quite important speech and I felt a bit disrespectful listening to it under a table so I bravely poked my head out from under the tablecloth, "However, we cannot look back on the 2nd of May 1998 and see only happiness, for we are also together here tonight to remember the lives that were lost to secure the peaceful time in which we now live." I was pretty sure there was a toast coming so I was just about to look around for a glass to raise when I felt a sharp pain in my kidney. Looking around I discovered the source of the pain was, as usual, the great pug-like one. She kicked me! She kicked me during the Battle of Hogwarts speech! She's a whole new level of cow!

"Outside. Now." She hissed down at me, trying to be discreet.

Not wanting to cause any more disturbance I slowly got to my feet and allowed myself to be pushed towards the balcony, gesturing to Cynthia to stay put. The Minister's speech continued in the background.

"I know that many of you lost parents, grandparents, children, siblings, spouses and friends on that day and I hope you all know that their sacrifices were not made in vain."

"Keep moving grass stain."

Did she have no respect whatsoever?

Once we were outside, Pansy pushed me rather roughly against the wall, "You're gonna get it now, you little freak."

I normally would have just covered my face in my hands and prayed for mercy, but now I was angry.

"What is _wrong_ with you? What? You couldn't have waited like five more minutes?"

"I...uh..."

She was probably about to say something equally clever but suddenly Draco burst from behind the curtain and he did not look a happy chappie.

"Pansy, what the hell are you doing?"

"Draco! I told you! She was mean to me!"

"I don't care if she set your head on fire, why can't you ever take anything seriously?"

"But Draco..."

He stepped closer and I got the feeling I wasn't really meant to listen anymore, "Those people he's talking about, they were our friends too, Pansy. Remember Vincent Crabbe?"

"Draco! Of course I do! I just..."

"You just don't care, you've never cared. Come on," he said to me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards the curtain. Before he got there he turned around and gave the shocked Pansy one last look of disgust, "And leave Astoria alone, she only ever gave you what was coming to you."

"But Dray-Dray-"

"Don't call me that." And he dragged me back inside without another word.

Whoa.

Freakin' whoa.

Just as we re-entered the hall the Minister was raising his goblet.

"A toast, to our fallen comrades."

As the occupants of the room raised their glasses, Draco and I quickly snatched a couple of goblets off a nearby table and respectfully (although probably not too wisely, considering we didn't check what was in them) drank the contents.

Oh good grief it was fire whiskey.

As I fought the urge to cough up my stomach contents, quiet chatter began to fill the hall again and Draco turned away from me I thought I'd better at least say something.

"Hey, um, Draco?"

He looked back at me over his shoulder. Though his face was back to its usual composed expression, there was still something sad in his eyes, "Yeah?"

"Thanks for saving me...I'm sorry about your friend."

"Don't worry about it. I've gotta go."

"Ok...bye." I called as he wove his way through the crowd, leaving me standing alone in the corner. I watched the spot where he had disappeared for a few moments before I felt someone grab my arm roughly and I reluctantly tore my eyes away.

"Tori! Your alive! What happened?"

"Long story, but the basic outcome is that I survived, Pansy got dumped and Draco is depressed."

"About the dumping?"

"More about death and his place in the world I think."

"Splendid."

"Don't try to tell me you're not even a little bit drunk." I grinned as I guided her back towards the table, pushing all thoughts of moping hot guys from my head.

"Enough to get up on the table and moon everyone, but not enough to snog Flitwick."

"I pray you're never drunk enough to snog Flitwick."

"As do I my dear girl, as do I."

I chuckled to myself as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to the dance floor where couples were beginning to waltz in time to the music.

Well 'in time' may be a bit of an overstatement. The band looked like they were all about fourteen years old and I was quite sure the only song they knew was 'can you dance like a hippogriff?' but the waltzers persisted.

"May I have this dance?" Cynthia bowed solemnly towards me, twirling her imaginary moustache.

"Alright," I laughed, looping my pearls back around my head, as they had become quite a serious safety hazard, "but only because you are so very hammered."

"Woop! Woop!" she yelled in elation as she threw herself rather passionately into 'the sprinkler'.

Laughing along in my loony little way I started to do what I can only describe as 'boogying'; it involved lots of vigorous arm movements, knee knocking and pearl shaking (what can I say? They came loose again and you gotta work what you got).

I glanced over my shoulder to see that Pansy had reunited with my sister and they were both staring at us with a mixture of loathing and horror.

I swung my pearls around my head again for good measure and grinned at the nauseated look on the terrible twosome's faces.

It's good to know your place in society.

**

* * *

**

xoxo


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